An Alien encounter!

Saturday, August 2






What do you think aliens look like?

little green men wearing funky jackets?
oozy slimy blobs?
bipeds/tripeds/mopeds that roamaround shooting death rays?

whacko jacko?


When it comes to aliens, each of us has his own idea about them, blame it on hollywood!
In my case, I always thought they were little green bastards that cruised around in saucers.

But all my convictions went down the drain today when I actually came face to face with an alien itself!


Found this beauty (yeah, i have developed a liking for grotesque things lately..) in our garden today evening.
it must've had a warped childhood, look at it!
The Alien was stationed just outside the window, resting in a sub-terranean chamber.
It surprised me that our rottweiler hadn't gone for it and bitten him to bits. Maybe he'd sensed something too (He's seen his share of hollywood movies to tell an ET from a mere T you know!).
I carefully extracted the alien and took him to my BDSM chambe.., oops., I mean, my underground laboratory. *blush*

I analysed the situation. I had a knocked-out alien in my room, and the world didn't know about it. What should I do next?My mind raced through a zillion sci-fi's and I came up with the answer...

...that's it!
An Alien Autopsy!
and Autopsy is what I did!

I didn't have to worry about anaesthesia, the unfortunate guy had landed right next to our waste dump.
First I had to confirm my suspicions regarding his alien origin. I examined the alien in detail and look what I found growing out its body!


Yucksy!

So this gives us two possibilities:

1. It comes from a place where aliens grow antennas. or
2. It comes from a place where aliens don't grow antennas. It is male.

So that confirms my belief that it IS an alien.
Cause I've never known anyone from this planet who grew antennas like that, or someone with that kind of a... okay, nevermind!


The day had been a typical one, meaning that I was bored and jobless,.. so I decided to spend some time studying the alien. I thought about the various uses it could be put to..  trust me, I'm not very bright when it comes to thinking,  so it pissed me off when I couldn't come up with a serious application. ('paperweight' was my personal best).

Anyway, I'm not a complete turd to not realize the potential of the thing lying before me, lemme tell ya. I knew it could make me rich and famous.
People hesitate to spare a homeless guy some change, but they'll pay twice that money to see something grotesque. amirite?


... So I turned over the alien's body to take a closer look, and got the shock of my life!


Damn!! I almost jumped outta my skin! Why do they always have to do that?

And this is friggin' India for christ's sake! I thought they hit the US first. Screw you Hollywood! :@

Anyway, I was not gonna get punk'd by some damn alien right inside my own house! Just no.



- fast forward -



End of another typical day. I'm feeling real drowsy. Maybe I ate too much food for supper.
but then it was all real tasty...

...especially the mashed potatoes!

6 comments:

Amr Adel Amin said...

The Alien/Potato post is absolutely hilarious!

Saw the link to your blog on "Ramblings of a restless mind" and figured I'd check it out. Good stuff! :)

mantiz said...

hi amr,
welcome to my den bro.. thanks for droppin by :)
nice to know sara's sending me loadz of visitors, I owe her one!

K.J.M. said...

pretty out of the box post!! would never have thought of somebody considering a potato an alien!!!

mantiz said...

me neither lol.
Anyway potatoes from outer space definitely taste better than their earthly counterparts! :D

Lydia said...

Good job, that was extrememly amusing... And it has made me very hungry.

mantiz said...

it's always nice to meet another potato fan!
thanks :)