The Alien Encounter that I had a week ago inspired me to delve more into the subject.
So I kinda did some research on alien sightings and abductions, and to my shock, I found out that 99% of the aliens come not from outer space, but from the Hollywood!
Yeah, that's right, the people over at Hollywood have created aliens of all weird types, so if a real alien pays us a visit someday and happens to see them, he'll be really pissed!
Let's take a look at some of the most famous alien superstars hailing from the silver screen:
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
The aliens in this flick are one peaceful lot, who comes to tell the earthlings that unless they too become a peaceful lot, they will be eliminated (peaceful, &ucking peaceful!)
A remake of this this ancient Black & White movie is scheduled for December 2008, starring Keanu Reaves and Jennifer Conelly. so I suspect there will be some mind-blowing 'action sequences' (*wink), with the aliens pulling off some kickass kung-fu fighting.
Invaders From Mars (1953)
Aliens in this movie are Eight-foot tall green men controlled by a little Martian in a glass ball... the typical alien image etched on the back of our minds.
The Island Earth (1955)
Almost an acceptable human, except for this freaky bulge on the forehead. I wonder if a skull-cap could fix that... and umm, a pair of sunglasses... and behold, he's one of us!
Oh look, he's even got space-age boxers!
The Blob (1958)
Oozy, slimy, gooey, making-you-wanna-puke blobs that devour any living thing in their path. This is one of those flicks that made me scared of the television-set in our house back in my childhood.
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
Wise, kind entities who only want to make contact with us. Yeah right, they are just geeks.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
People get replaced by simulations grown from plantlike pods. The duplication is done when the humans are sleeping and the doubles thus created share the same looks, build, and memory as the original human. Only, they don't have any love or affection inside. After the duplication is complete, the human bodies disintegrate.. means no one can be trusted, the one sitting next to you may actually be from another planet... what a scary idea! Crappy, but scary still!
Starship Troopers (1997)
Hmm... what attracted me more than the aliens in this flick was the young and attractive cast.
The movie is set in a futuristic world. Aliens are a hostile species of inerstellar insects rampaging through the galaxy. They even hurl harmless asteroids at the earth (pretty harmless, one of them can just level Buenos Aires). There is alot of gut-busting action with loads of blood and gore - not a pleasant future at all!
War of the Worlds (2005)
I still wonder if the movie was about aliens or about Tom Cruise.
Aliens are large Tripod machines taking over the town and vaporizing things in its path. Some unfortunate souls get imprisoned in metal cages between the legs of the aliens. (It's okay if Wells wants to call them 'Metal Cages'... well, we all have our pet names! ;)
Star Wars (1977 - )
Now this one surely gets you baffled... they got aliens of every colour and shape! From the solemn Jedi Master to the Teddy-ish Ewoks, there is a truckload of 'em in this series.
One among the 1% that comes form outside the Hollywood. British families will surely remember this friendly alien from planet MelMac who kept wondering "What's wrong with these earthlings?"
The Ones That Got Away!
While we were busy scanning the skies for life, there were a few lurking right here on the face of the earth craftily hiding their alien origins.
Here are three of them that deserve a special mention:
1) George W Bush (W for W@nker)
Yeah, we all know it. He's got a pair of antennae tucked away somewhere under those grey hairs.
2) whacko Jacko
I've kept a close watch on this one right from the moment I noticed the ridiculously long nose.
Check out this top-secret image of him that I secretly got smuggled out of Hangar 18:
That surely is extra-terrestrial behaviour.
And the affinity to abduct young earthlings only adds fuel to my doubt.
I'd call him another Body Snatcher, albeit of a different kind!
3) Paris Hilton
What more proof do you need? She is making her point clear, *in your face*
Poor thing, she doesn't know that she is just a fragment of interstellar shit that the earth can very well do without!
...and there are more out there!
Yeah, I know this is a scary idea... but that's the truth my friend. The one sitting next to you might actually be an alien.. your roommate may be one. your boss may be one...
just don't get into trouble checking out people for tails or antennas or whatever... I have enough people complaining that my crappy writing causes more confusion and chaos in an already fucked-up world :/