This life is over-rated, you all know it. There are times when you're left without a piece of land to step on. In short, you feel like shit.
This is when I find asylum in music.. It works just like a drug - you get high then you pass out without having to worry about the goddamn world. and the good thing about music is that there are no health hazards and you don't have to sell your farm to get a shot of it.
Here are some songs that've been occupying my playlist lately - good stuff to put you to sleep.
Drugs Don't Work (The Verve) - but this song will. Richard Ashcroft's voice works just like a lullaby. Listen to this song and you'll know why I'm so in love with The Verve.
Everybody Hurts (REM) - Just the song you need when shit hits the fan. REM wrote this song when he lost his dearest friend. The music is powerful and the lyrics are full of hope, urging you to live, and move on.. love it.
My Immortal (Evanescence) - poignant lyrics and nostalgic music, add to that Amy Lee's perfect voice - works like marijuana!
Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd) - It doesn't take a minor scale to sound sad.
BitterSweet Symphony (The Verve) - One of the greatest songs in my life, and one i'll never get tired of listening to!
Sooner or Later (Switchfoot) - "come back and haunt me...", exactly what it does. nostalgic at its best!
Heart-Shaped Box (Nirvana) - One of the first songs that I learned to play on my guitar. hate the video but love the music to the core.
Coil (Opeth) - easily one of the best songs I've ever heard. Opeth could be this mellow.. who knew?
December (Collective Soul) - a tune that brings back memories! Whatever happened to Collective Soul? they were hot!
Ana's song (Silverchair) - though it's about anorexia, what it invokes in me is a familiar emotion sickness.
I don't know.. Normally I would be banging my head to Pantera's "Walk" or Children of Bodom's "Everytime I Die", but now I don't think my head's in a mood to fly.
Life's gaping at me like a gigantic toilet seat, threatening to flush me down its depths of despair..
OMG I'm getting too poetic! It all comes natural now but I know I'll hate myself for writing this later... but what the heck, all I wanna do now is pass out :(
...so said The Verve.
..and that's so so true.. Life's not always sweet. sometimes you can't help feeling that life's a real bitch, she just sucks you dry of all your happiness!
October 19th goes down in my diary as the day I had to take the most bitter bite of all.. This is the day I lost the dearest of my friends, that too at the young age of 20 years..
The guy up there is George Kurien. To me, he was my georgie, one of the best things that had happened to my life. God I wish you had given me a chance to tell him that!
Going abit down the memory lane...
When I joined a new school in eighth grade, there was this guy who always had something up his sleeve. He was one of the popular guys in school back then, and noticing him I couldn't help thinking "OMG, What a prick"! But I was yet to find out what a gem of a guy he really was, and that he would become one of my closest friends in a short time.
Now, he was everything that I ever wanted to be. never spent too much time in front of books, but still he managed to be one of the toppers.
His nickname 'Maximus' was believed to be jinxed. Most of the unfortunate Counter-Strikers in the local gaming joint suffered from shaky-knees-syndrome whenever they saw 'Maximus' on the player list. I gotta thank him for making a decent fragger out of me.
And then there was the music, did i mention he had been my fellow-headbanger ever since I got obsessed with metal?! He never failed to keep in touch even after we had to go seperate ways for our higher studies. Then there were the guitar solos; everytime i learnt a new one, he'd be the first to know despite the distance.
Had his funeral today. and I gotta say I didn't recognize the body that lay there before me at first.. it was more like a shadow of him - his skin blackened cause he spent one whole night underwater, maybe mocking the people who were searching for him, in his usual playful way.. then there's the damage done by people. Damn the one who invented post mortems! why did you have to disfigure my dearest friend?!
I've heard, your entire life flashes before your eyes the moment before you die. I wonder what he must've felt. It might have been all pain for him, water gushing into his body through every pore.. drowning is death in its worst form, I've read somewhere.. why did he have to die that way?
I couldn't bear the sight, yet I stood there looking at him for a long time, cause I'm not gonna be seeing him again for what seems like an eternity! As I finally caught hold of my mind and made my way outside, I couldn't help taking out my rosary, clutching the crucifix and asking "Why?!.. Why the fuck?!!".. Sorry lord if it pained you, but he really didn't deserve this kind of a farewell! sorry..
As memories came crashing into my mind, I couldn't help bursting into tears. a hundred people were watching, but I didn't care.. I don't know if it makes you less of a man when you cry, but I didn't give a flying fuck right then.. all I could feel was a voice telling me from the inside, "Be man enough to cry".. and I still cry when I think of you pal, loved ya to bits!!
My goodbyes mate, your life definitely rocked! Hats off to you for showing the world how to live life! and thanks for all the memories.. You're still alive within us, and I'm sure you'll make people happy wherever you go..
My prayers will always be with you..
your favorite song, back from the days we used to go to school together.
Rest In Peace